Bolt of Blue

I’ve been silent on this blog for months now. I’m not entirely sure why. I’ve been busy of course. I always feel so busy but it’s really an excuse. I think I’m not sure what I want this blog to be anymore.

I’ve been going to shows, movies, hiking, tweeting, living. And in many ways trying to do a lot of spring cleaning in my life. Selling stuff I no longer want or ever needed, giving things away, cleaning up and organizing our house… and focusing on what matters the most to me. I’m in a period of reflection. And for the first time in ages, I’m giving away or closing websites I’ve run for years and years. Most are fanlistings. I closed 1, let 3 go to others who wanted them and I’m probably going to close 7 more. Once I let the first ones go, it felt SO good. I’m not entirely ready to give up all my fan related websites, but it feels good to re-evaluate and take stock. What do I really want to spend my valuable free time on?

I used to be so creative. When I was young, I would spend hours making up stories and committing them to paper. I wrote dozens of novellas. In college, I completed a short story collection but I’ve yet to revisit those characters. I think somewhere along the way I transferred my creative energies to the web and never really looked back. As I’ve been going through old boxes, I’m finding scraps of story starts and I’m in awe of what I used to do so passionately every day. I couldn’t let a pen leave my hands and now I rarely take one up except for taking notes during work meetings. And one story in particular has never left my mind when I day dream or am stuck driving in traffic or before I fall asleep. That character is still inside me waiting to tell her story.

I’m dreaming so much lately… of traveling, of taking photographs, of finishing that novel, of moving to another country, of starting a family. At this point in my life I think I’m ready to start making some of these dreams come true.